Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Heart Words

We have a saying here in our house - Heart Words Are Forever.

What is a Heart Word?

Well, we define a Heart Word as a word or sentence that can be used to affect a person's heart or mind - either positively or negatively.

So in this household, we talk about Heart Words that can hurt and Heart Words that can help.

We all know the old saying of "Sticks and Stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me!", but unfortunately, we all also know that this is not true. Words can and DO hurt, sometimes more than sticks and stones. And the results can be felt for years after a physical injury has healed.

So, using Heart Words in our house is a Big Thing.

Now, why this post, I hear you think...

We had an incident that involved Heart Words recently.

Dragonett Lass was having a temper tantrum over having to go to bed at 1am...... yes, 1am. Apparently she wasn't tired. Unfortunately for her, the rest of us were.

Her response to DragonPapa explaining (for the one thousandth time) why we need sleep...

"Why do you make everyone here SO miserable?? Why don't you just go away?"

Cue Heart Words that Cut. DragonMumma was on that like flies on the proverbial!!!!

After everyone had calmed down (make that after DragonMumma had calmed down - and I do NOT get angry at my kids very often at ALL) we had another talk about Heart Words and the damage/good they can do.

Dragonett Lass came to me afterwards and said the following...

"Mumma, I am really sorry, I didn't actually mean to say that to Papa. Can you tell him I'm sorry?"
"No Dragonett Lass, I can't. That is something that needs to come from you."
Fidget and squirm.
"But what if DragonPapa doesn't forgive me?"
"Aw sweetie. Look, I have two things to say, then it's your choice what you do. One - DragonPapa will always forgive you - that's what parents do. We love you no matter what, always know that. Two - when you use Heart Words to hurt someone/anybody, you leave a wound. An apology is like a bandaid. It doesn't stop the pain, but it can help to stop bleeding, it can help to stop it getting infected or worse, it can help it heal. Do you understand what I am saying?"
Nods quietly.
Silence for a few minutes...
"Mumma, how long does it take to feel all better?"
"Your hurt or Papa's?"
"Heart Wounds can take longer than body wounds to heal sweetie and sometimes they can last a very long time."
More Silence...
"Learning stuff is hard."
"I know love, I know"
"I need to go and give Papa a hug....."

Hard lessons for anyone to learn. Hopefully, this is a lesson that is learned now and not one that needs repeating.....

And a lesson for DragonMumma here too ..... No more Milly and Molly (that sentence was straight out of the mouth of the resident bully on that show) - actually no more TV for a looooong while - and definitely no more cornflakes......OMGoodness, the behaviours we are getting since we had cornflakes come into this house!!!! Three days of shocking, shocking behaviours!!

DragonMumma + lesson learned about Cornflakes = Moving much more quickly to a new lifestyle diet....but more about that another time...

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