Thursday, August 30, 2012

My Blooming Bath has Arrived!!!!

Would you believe it? My Blooming Bath has arrived today!!

I Know!! How quick was that?

Of course, the kids were into it before I could even grab the camera, so the only photos I have are the ones where Dragonett Lass has already 'set' everything up.

Can I say, that dealing with Michelle, the owner of Skelliwags, was simply delightful? I couldn't be happier with this transaction!!

The bath is SO soft, the washcloths are heavenly - and might I add - the perfect size?? I dislike using flannels because it always felt like I was wrestling with both baby AND washcloth, flannels are that little bit too big. These washcloths are just perfect - fit my hand, no whippy bits to catch bubba's face and SO soft! They use the offcuts from the Blooming Baths to make the washcloths so that appeals to my sense of reusing and smaller footprints - all that jazz :)

Just to recap - I ordered a Turquoise Blooming Bath, with one set (of 2) turquoise washcloths and one set (of 2) Hot Pink washcloths. 

I also got a lovely gift from Michelle/Skelliwags of a Bright Yellow Washcloth - So I actually got the whole set anyway - Just like I wanted!! YAY!!

Overall, I am very impressed with the whole shebang - from ordering to receiving (recyclable packaging - perfect!!) to having a practice go - is was smooth, faultless and simply Divine! There were also personal touches that I personally adore in any seller - either online or IRL! 

And finally, I don't know how I am going to last the next 9 weeks until I get to use it for real!!

Thank You Michelle and Thank You Skelliwags!!





(We ended up practicing in the tiny bathroom sink, as my kitchen sink still has breakfast stuff in it - don't judge lol)

And one cute thing to share. As soon as the packaging was opened, Dragonett Lad was asking what it was for. Now he still hasn't quite grasped the fact that there is another baby on the way, so was confused about why we needed a baby bath "But I go in big bath Mumma....?" lol
But he understood it was for washing, so while Dragonett Lass and I were checking it all out, he ran off and got a bowl of water... to help wash the doll!! Aaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwww 
*cue heart melting*

Edited to add - apparently I should add this - I have bought this personally from Skelliwags. It was not a gift or a trial or whatever bloggers do to get free stuff in exchange for a review on a blog. 
Basically, I saw, I loved, I searched, I failed to find one I could afford here. A friend posted it on FB, Her friend found Skelliwags and the rest, as they say, is history! So know that this review is completely unbiased - unless you count the fact that I am a hard person to please when it comes to spending my money. :D

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Happy Birthday to MMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Technically, it's tomorrow, but as I hate mornings and Wednesdays are a busy day anyway, we did my birthday tonight.

And I Loved It!!!  

From Dragonett Lad, I got my very own SONIC SCREWDRIVER!! WOOT!!

Sadly, I have lost it already - lol

He has gone around 'sonic-ing' everything open, very Doctor-like!





From Dragonett Lass, I got this very cool dragon - when you clap your hands, the blue mist/liquid swirls around - SO FECKING COOL!!!!!!


And from DragonPapa - I got my very own Fob Watch!!!!




I am one very very spoilt Whovian!! 

Editing to add - Since Dragonett Lad "appropriated" my newly built sonic, he has 'sonic-ed' the following...

all the doors and cupboards in the entire house (this includes those in the wallpaper AND the invisible ones in the walls)
all the light switches
everything that can be opened in some way
HIS NAPPY!! yup, DragonPapa had to stop on every velcro to allow Dragonett Lad to sonic it first - both on AND off!! And his pants.
My mouth, nose, eyes, ears, hands, feet, knees, etc
the cats
the violins
DragonPapa's computer
The bolts on the chairs

I think you can see where this is going.... HAHAHAHAA

Monday, August 27, 2012

A New Look

So I have changed my blog around a bit - from the bright colours and vibrant settings, to a more subtle, cleaner looking blog.

So?

What do you think?

:D

Blooming Baby Bath

Regular Readers on my blog will remember my blogging this before...

Blooming Baby Bath - here's a YouTube video to refresh your memories

aaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!! Did your hearts (and uteruses) just melt?? lol
Anyway, I'm not real comfy buying things on the 'Net from overseas - I do love it, but I haven't really had a lot of luck - it's about 50/50 if I get it and in one piece, lol.
But a friend posted one on Facebook today and one of her friends found a supplier in Australia -very nicely priced (the few I could find in Australia were like $65 to $80!! and Shocking postage) but her friend found one WITH cheap postage!!! 
Well, I simply couldn't say No, now could I? BWAHAAA
So, with only about 9weeks left (or thereabouts) I have finally bought the very first thing for our Nov Hatchling!!
I also got the matching washcloths - one set in turquoise to match our Blooming Bath and one set in Hot Pink because it was such a brilliant colour!! AND SO CHEAP!!
So, I will give a plug to the online store I was directed to and will update you all when I get my Blooming Baby Bath and matching washcloths!!
SO EXCITED!! HAHAHAHAA *Happy Dance*

Sunday, August 26, 2012

My Sewing Life

Dragonett Lass had a violin concert and being that I am struggling, I totally thought I had another week and had ordered a dress. Unfortunately... I was wrong LOL. 

So suffice to say, her new dress wasn't going to arrive in time, and we are - as per usual - broke as.

As the theme is Black and White with a Hint of Red, I immediately raided my fabric bin in the hopes of having ANYTHING that I could use.

Ages ago, I found an end of roll of wedding satin at my Rummage sale, so as it was the ONLY black or white fabric I had (I don't tend to buy white or black fabric, I LOVE Colours!!) I had to try to make something with that.

I am going to say it again - I always manage to amaze myself at the level of SUCK I have for sewing! HAHAHAHA!! No seriously!! I love sewing, I do!! Truly! I am just one of those people who really don't do it well!! *headdesk while PMSL*

Okay, so last night, after I cleaned up my new sewing area and got organised, I decided to go simple and make a quick circle skirt - hint, probably not a great idea to make a circle skirt from satin when you are at the level of total Sewing Noob. BWHAHAHA

So after 5 hours - yes, I said 5 hours and about 6 re-hems and 4 waistbands later and at about 2am, I decided to quit and go to bed and re-address it in the morning. 

Well, got up, Dragonett Lass had found it and LOVED it so I girded my courage (lol) and decided to see if I could just cobble SOMETHING together.....

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA - as DragonPapa kept saying - "Think of it as Feature, not a mistake!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I even tried ironing it (I really did, it only took my 40 minutes to just FIND the iron - HAHA) to make it look less ........ bad?

But with the waistband hidden under Dragonett Lass's top and her totally loving it, it didn't look TOO bad....as long as you don't look too closely.






Friday, August 24, 2012

Just a Reminder - Rear Face VS Forward Facing - Kids and Cars

Something that popped up on my FaceBook feed and I felt it was due for another boost here on my blog as well. Rear Facing Kids Vs Forward Facing Kids

http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/1580585/Why_It_Matters_graphic_pictures

and a link that has been on this blog for nearly the entire time

My comment on the page that shared this...
 I wanted to say one thing - I know people who drink and drive - and they do so BLIND DRUNK!! I'm talking drooling, slurring, can't open their eyes drunk - and they get into their cars like that. Every single thing I can do to protect my children from dickheads like that, I will do. Rear face? As long as I can!! Are their legs a little squished? Better a busted leg from someone slamming into me than a busted head or back or worse... My nearly 7yr old is in a new 5point harness and chair booster (not one of those bum booster thingies) and will be in one until I am unable to buy one to fit her. My nearly 3yr old? Same, this new baby due soon? I already have a top of the line car seat on layby/layaway - have since I found out I was pregnant. People tell me "I can't afford those" I can't afford to lose my kids. Whats $500 compared to the life of my kids? And no, we don't have much money, but we figure for us, this is more important than a newer car, or dinners out (can't remember the last time we ate out) or new clothes (secondhand cover just as much as new store bought clothes) or any of those other things I am supposed to want. /lecture lo
Seriously people, think about it like this. IF you were to be in an accident and your child was severely injured or God Forbid, killed, would you pay $500 to have them back again, whole and alive? $1000 maybe? Would you sell everything you owned, including yourself, to have them back?  That is how I think about this whole topic. I buy the best I can and do whatever I can to help keep them the safest I can possibly do. I can't control anyone else, only myself. So I do whatever I can. I  hope that you can say the same thing :) 
Because I can never get all the videos I want to load - here's some good links to watch too... http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=fvwp&v=Y2DVfqFhseo&NR=1 and  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lg4zBeU7md4&feature=relmfu

Conversations with Kids Part 2

Conversations with Kids - Part 2

Dragonett Lad and myself were playing a game and I smelt that all familiar smell...

"Bubba, do you need a bum change?"
"Nope"
"Really Dragonett Lad? I can smell a pooey bum"
"Hope, all gone"
"Come on, let's go change you"
"No Mumma, I pwomise, all gone!!"
"Then how come I can smell poo?"
Pause while he thinks hard. His little eyes light up seconds later and he points to Dragonett Lass
"Sissy pooed her pants, not me!" Said extremely proudly!

............

Horrified and a quite insulted look appears on Dragonet Lass's face

"WHAT?"

Dragonett Lad giggles and runs to the bathroom.

We have a joker on our hands people!!

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Ranty McRanter's Rant on Judgemental Breastfeeding ahead.....

I waited a whole day to write this and post it, hoping that I wouldn't be so ..... not upset or offended really, more pissed if that makes sense?

Okay, as per my last post, I am looking into trying to supplement my breastfeeding so that I am actually ABLE to breastfeed. For as long as freaken possible!

I knew that what I was looking for was rare, I even recognised that I might even have troubles finding anyone else in my situation - I was cool with that, story of my life so to speak.

What I also expected - and unsurprisingly GOT, was biased judgements. Yep. That's not what pissed me off though - it was WHO I got the judgements from. In hindsight, I should never be surprised - I rarely am TBH - but hey, even the most cynical of us can still be surprised.

Okay, without naming names as I'm not one to take away any good someone/some organisation MIGHT do - let's just say that in my searches, I contacted quite a few people. It's been nearly a week, so I was hoping to get some sort of replies by now. Hmmmmmm, I got three replies out of 12 contacts - not horribly bad I suppose - shocking though if I was a breastfeeding woman desperate for help, but hey.... *rolleyes*

One was cool- simply gave me links to other websites for information I didn't have, so I'll give them a 6 out of 10.

One was regurgitated crap that was simply a Google cut and paste - 3 out of 10. If I can find THEM by google, then chances are I have already got that info...

The other one -  steam out of ears - 0 out of 10. If I could give minus', they would be 10000000000x BAD.

Basically, I was "politely informed" that very few women actually have Real Medical Issues in regards to Low Supply ~* BUT *~  that Most Women just need support to get to a successful (ie able to breastfeed fully) breastfeeding relationship, so read these support tips, and ONCE I HAD DONE THEM, ~* IF *~ I was still having any issues, feel free to contact them again or see my hospital Lactation Consultant or GP. Then it went on with a list of supposedly 'helpful tips'. And that I wasn't to **imagine** that I had low supply until I was already feeding a newborn AND had a confirmed diagnoses from a OB/Ped/LC.... All from a supposedly informed, educated, knowledgeable, often referred to source. (notice how most of that "support" is for AFTER? Bit late then, don't you think??)

Also, don't you love a good ~* BUT *~ ?!? Negates everything in front of it and does it OHHH so nicely at the same time...

Now, I am all for helping women and supporting them through the growing pains of breastfeeding. In our Society, it IS too easy to just fall back on bottles and formula - I mean, it's not like we are exposed to breastfeeding in any normal sense of the word. Until you actually HAVE a baby, I would think that a majority of women had never even seen it happen, let alone had an indepth conversation or even just simply seen it as a normal, day to day baby thing. It's an incredibly steep learning curve, combined with new hormones and responsibility, sleep deprivation and joy  - all the things that come along with a brand new family member. Added that in our society, we are expected to maintain our 'before' lives as well as getting bombarded with every Joe and His dogs opinions on what we are doing with our breasts and our babies..... yeah - it's almost guaranteed to fail, isn't it! So yes, support is crucial - CRUCIAL!!

BUT.... and here's what peed in my Wheaties.

I explained ALL my history and my medical diagnoses and the results on both my kids and then went on to share my wishes and hopes for the next child. Basically I said - Two kids, both suffered, my medical diagnoses, our history, how I want to BF next kid, heard about SNS, want to try, do they know anyone that has done this and can they give me advice to help? But as it was me, it was like a page of information. LOL. Short of sending photos, I think I filled in all the blanks.

Oh and no, their reply wasn't a form letter - that was my first thought - I read that sucker like 100 times.

So, even with my history, my wishes and hopes spread out in print form, I was negated immediately to the realm of "Woman Just Needs Support .... But Later - Ignore Everything Else"

Can I just interject something here? With both my kids, I called the numbers that are given to Aussie mums and told to call if they have problems breastfeeding and that I would get to talk to trained, experienced people who understood...... they understood alright - they understood exactly how to make me feel like a complete and utter failure - twice. So for me to be going out and about asking again, takes some courage, if nothing else.

To end my rant here, I want to say something. Yes, many women do simply need a genuine support system to help with majority of breastfeeding struggles. Some will even need help to supplement for a while. If overseas stats are correct, that will cover most women.

BUT....... there is a sentence at the start of each and every one of these advice givers - that there are a small number of women who DO have medical reasons why they have LOW or NO supply and nothing will change that.

Guess what? THERE REALLY ARE!!

Like home birthing numbers, we may be a small number. We may be a true minority. BUT WE STILL EXIST!
Our hearts are still shattering because we are failing our children in an extremely basic way.
Our hearts are still being torn to tatters when we try SO HARD to feed our children as Nature and God intended, but instead, watch them sob and cry - or worse, sleep quietly and simply get thinner and thinner and thinner.
Our souls are still screaming at the loss of such a primal connection.
So to tell a struggling, hurting woman to "just try harder" is like telling a man falling off a cliff "to just hold on tighter, you'll be fine". Without actually reaching out and grasping our hand, we will fall.

So the next time you judge a woman - either silently or out loud, just remember this. They may just need support, so is what you're about to say or do actually support? Or might they need something a bit more...... are you prepared for that as well?

Take the time to actually Listen and Understand and then maybe, just maybe, we will be doing something RIGHT for a change.

In conclusion - if I was the woman I was 7yrs ago, this would be the end of my journey towards a breastfeeding relationship. I would simply go to Amazon and order the Bumper Baby Bottle Set with Optional Bottle Stickies and Bottle Cleaner in Co-Ordinating Colours - On Sale and start stock piling the Formula. It's looking so fucking tempting right now!!

But I am no longer That Woman. I now know how to fight for what I want. I will push forward with this, I will try my bloody damnest, I will give it my Freaken All!! Then and Only Then, if all else doesn't align (I will NEVER consider it a failure - you can NEVER FAIL if you have tried your absolute Hardest!!!) will I then try something else!!

Thanks to my God, for molding me into the strong woman I am today!!

Monday, August 20, 2012

Breastfeeding..... or lack of it

As I have shared before, I have hypoplastic breasts, which is severe enough that I only produce about 15-20mls per breastfeeding session... and only on a really good day.... and only if I haven't BFed in the past 4 hours.... so ...yeah. 

For a newborn under a week, this is okay, but after that, you are definitely going to be needing some sort of supplement as well.


Last time, I was able to co-feed breastmilk and formula until 3 months, when I gave it up and went straight to FF.


With this new baby coming in Nov, I am looking at extending that a bit further. How much further? How long is a piece of string? I have no idea, but I at least want to try.


Now last time, I attempted a "ghetto" Supplementary Nursing System - also known as SNS, but really struggled and, in hindsight, gave up - I really needed to for my own mental health. Then at 7/8 months, we started to supplement with donated Breastmilk from a dear dear friend. She amazingly kept our donations up for nearly a year. I still have her gift here - *blush*


So anyway, with the baby due in Nov, I recently came across pictures on Facebook where mums have used commercially available SNS to supplement their babies feeding.


That got me thinking - why can't I do that?


I have hunted around over the past few days, but haven't found anyone that has the same situation as me - where they produce little or no milk and use the SNS purely for the connection side of breastfeeding. Nearly all the anecdotes and stories I am finding are where women use an SNS to help boost supply, or for complimentary feeding - where they are using both their own BM and SNS to top up/level out.


LOL, so yet again, I feel like I am alone in this and pioneering forward into uncharted territory - which is a giant load of bunkum as I'm positive I am not the only person this has ever happened to. But, being of no nevermind, I AM feeling a little lost in the wilderness here.


So, in my usual fashion, I am striving ahead,


I have looked at the two commercially available SNSs - 


Medela Breastfeeding Supplemental Nursing System

and 

Lact-Aid Supplemental Nursing Systems/Trainer Systems

Now, we used a jury rigged version last time - which consisted of a bottle of formula with a medical quality tubing which I held to my breast/nipple as Dragonett Lad nursed - the theory being that he would suck milk up the tubing while he was nursing at my breast, therefore getting the best of both worlds.

Reality was, he either didn't get anything, or it simply gravity-drained into his mouth after the first suck and then he passively drank - which scared the bejeebers out of me thinking he was going to choke at any second. After a few days of that, I figured "Well, fuck that, may as well do bottles!"


So from my own experience, I am probably going to avoid any sort of gravity based SNS - so that rules the Medela out. I really like the look of the Lact-Aid one, but the thought of having to constantly buy bags is off-putting to say the least.


I am probably going to go with the Lact-Aid - bloody HELL this feeding babies is expensive shit!!!


One of the things I am finding myself working on right now, is my own social conditioning. 


I love the THOUGHT of breastfeeding and if I could, would STILL be breastfeeding Dragonett Lad if he wanted and I would have relactacted Dragonett Lass as well. Call me a Militant Breastfeeder if you like, I will wear that shit proudly! Breast milk is by far and away the best start for babies. Of that, there is not a single argument. 


But I am finding it really difficult to get my head around the fact that if I do this, I am little more than a bottle - less in fact, a cushion or pillow maybe. I keep trying to convince myself that 15mls of BM is 15mls of pure gold and is 15mls more than they would have gotten if I didn't breastfeed. It is also suited to them personally!


But the other side, the side that has been heartbroken over and over - and which now, I believe, has a slight breastfeeding aversion - can't see past the pillow/cushion view. I have different feelings about it all.


Yes, it's sucky, but better than nothing

But isn't it creepy to have someone sucking at your breast that ISN'T being fed by that breast?

But they will be getting SOMETHING! And we will be trying for that connection.

What will others say/how will they react? (Now this is a big thing for me - I don't normally give a rats butt about what people say)

and so on.... like I said, I have my own (surprising) social conditioning to work on here.

So, that will be going on the Shopping List along with a decent breast pump!


And finally - just my little Soap Box Rant - which I am amazed I lasted this long TBH.


I am going to try to source donated breastmilk again - I was so incredibly honored by a friend's generosity last time - I will never be able to thank her enough. SO many people offered to donate - some couldn't for health reasons, some couldn't for their own legitimate reasons, but too many were happy to 'simply forget', happy to bag out those that used "Crap In A Can", but not to donate to others.


Yes, Human Breast Milk is best - but if you can't get hold of it, what else are your choices? Even today, I saw on Facebook, a Dad begging for some donated breast milk for his 7month old - begging. So unless you are donating, pfft...even then, step back and rein in your judgement - you are only living your own life, no one else's and certainly not mine. By all means, educate and support women to make the best choice possible, then allow them the Honour to make their own choices and support those as well.


*steps off soapbox*


and with that - off I go to continue my search of the WWW.....Whhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D

Saturday, August 11, 2012

A Blogger I Adore Reading

I have many blogs I subscribe to and read. As I have stated before, I love reading about others lives.

One of my favorites is The Hippy Housewife (<< linky)

From her blog...

This is me, a 29-year-old WAHM, daughter of the King, wife to my childhood sweetheart, and mother to our two little boys and a third on the way. Join us on our journey as we seek a more intentional life.

Most of the time, I find myself nodding along with her or thinking about something in a new light.

But her last two blog posts have really resonated with me.

He's Already There

A post about God and her upcoming birth and their lives - this is one I have printed out for re-reading in times of doubt for my own upcoming birth and changes.

Breastfeeding, Modesty, and the Church

As the title suggests - Breastfeeding in church.


Insightful, well written posts, I love reading her updates. :)

Conversations with 2yr olds

Conversation between myself and Dragonett Ladd this morning- 


"Mumma?"
"Yes Bubba?"
"Nahnah gone" (dummy gone) sad face
"aw sweetie, we'll look for it"
"Nooo, gone" sadder face with shoulder slump added, whilst looking at toes
"I'm sorry Bubba, we will go look right now, okay?"
"Daddy gone" lip quiver
"Daddy will be home soon love, I promise"
"Sissy Gone" slumps in chair in bathroom whilst we are looking for Dummy/Nahnah
"Sissy is just at her friends house for a sleepover, she will be home soon"
"No, nonononono - all gone. Gone gone gone, Nahnah, Daddy, Sissy, all gone" remains slumped over, looking very dejected.
Heart breaking here, whilst also trying not to simultaneously laugh and cry.
"Oh sweetie"
Squat down, meet his eyes.
"Daddy and Sissy will be home soon, Nahnah is somewhere in the house and do you need a huggle?"
Huggles given and pats on the back (to me - awwwwwwwww)
He then very bravely (making sure I saw) came and played magnetics with me.

Awwww, the distraction of imaginary spaceships and cameras (these are his photos)



Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Some lighthearted Fun :)

A friend set this up for me and filled it with all kinds of weird and wacky stuff as a joke. But it got me all clucky and in a buying/spending mood - nothing better than window shopping on the 'Net IMO!! :D There's no salespeople to Tsk me - LOL

The Jolly Dragons Baby Registry

We never had a registry for anything, so I figured, what the hey?

Now I just have to save up for all of it...... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!

But I DO have to admit, I am totally in love with that Flower sink bath thingy....

This one >>>  Blooming Bath Baby in Turquoise

*sigh* Unfortunately, the bottles ARE required for us. While the Breast pump is sheer wishing on my part, it certainly won't hurt to try at least...... I guess.

Off to window shop some more.......


edited - I have cancelled the link, sorry :)

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

A New Op Shopping Post

I KNOW!! It's been AGES! Truth be, I haven't been up to going to my rummage sale all that much and then I did, I was so exhausted afterwards, that I would go straight to bed and sleep for the rest of the day and then have to have another day to recover!

But due to all sorts of reasons, I was able to go last week and this week and NOT have kids with me  WOOT!

Don't get me wrong, I love taking my kids, but they are tiring, especially with a 2yr old with no learnt boundaries yet - lol!

So back I came today with a treasure trove of stuff!!

I manage to snag (honestly, some of those people are like rabid dogs over the last morsel of meat!!!)...

 a magnetic building set - been eyeing these off for a while!



2 collapsible storage boxes


AHHHHHH  BOO!!


 heehee!

Dragonett Lass didn't quite fit, no matter HOW much Dragonett Lad pushed and shoved at her head! LMAO!!



12 towels for the upcoming birth



a HUGE pile of sheets and doona covers and other assorted fabrics - most are destined for the sewing box! I simply love doona covers with ruffles - they make for fabulously easy skirts and pants with ruffles on the bottom!



I also got a valance with a lovely deep lacy border - it will make for a stunning petticoat for me!



One thing I love finding are knitted blankets - It truly boggles my mind when you see a knitted blanket, that has obviously been made with love (not a china knockoff made with slave labour) that someone has thrown away! Thrown Away! How ...what... why... *speechless*

Here's my hubby loving helping me model it.... oh nope, not that one... ahhhhhh found it.... lol




This is going to look stunning no matter where we use it (it is currently being fought over - hubby thinks that it would be best in here - the office for me, I think that it would be fab on Dragonett Lad's bed - nice and big and heavy and warm, perfect for a restless sleeper! Yet Dragonett Lass feels it would be best in HER room ~ LOL!


Along with all the usual books, toys, kitchen stuff and clothes for the kids - I had a BLAST!! Am looking forward to next week! :)


Saturday, August 4, 2012

A Dragon's Thoughts

On Facebook a few days ago, I came across a post on a page. Now, I rarely post on other peoples walls, it's just not 'me'. But I felt what I had to say needed to be said.

The question was ...


Did you have a moment when you just fell completely in love with your baby? A moment when you felt connected and knew you'd do anything for this little person? Or was it more of a progression, a journey? Share how it worked for you, if it was different from child to child, and when you were aware of it.

Nearly (if not all) the comments were "Oh, when I first peed on that stick" and "At our first Ultrasound" or "When they moved for the first time" and the clincher "When I held them for the first time". There were even one or two that outright said along the lines of "What kind of woman WOULDN'T love their child the first time they saw them?"

Ummmm, me?

My response ...


I just wanted to share with those mums who didn't bond immediately. I hated my first. I had severe undiagnosed antenatal depression. So when I say I hated her, please understand I'm not being horrible, it was a fact. I would have fought for her and died/killed for her once born (traumatic birth as well) but I did not love her, I just didn't hate her once born. It was a gradual process and I realized when she was 2 that I worshipped the ground she walked on. So from about 6 months old, I started to stop seeing her as a job (exchildcare worker) and started to care. But 2 was when I realized I adored her every breath! My second, a home birth, I finally bonded at about 3 months old. This next bubba due Nov..... Lol, we'll see :D and yea, my kids are my life and soul now!!!!!!


Anyone who knows me or who has read my birth story (link over there << if you want to read it), will know that I didn't 'love' my first child while she was in my womb. Hell, I didn't "love" her even after she was here! Don't get me wrong, I was a damned fine mother/carer, I just didn't feel that emotion "Love". It was probably when Dragonett Lass was about 2yrs old, that I realised I worshipped the ground she walked on.

Yes, I have dealt with a lot of guilt about it. I still do I guess. It is not 'normal' for a woman to NOT adore her child - it is often implied...hell, it's said outright, that there is something 'wrong' with a woman who doesn't fall immediately in love with her birthed babe. For her birth, I will admit that there was - I had Antenatal Depression (AND) and then Postnatal Depression (PND) and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) which all affect the bonding process.

BUT.... when I had my second child, I STILL didn't "fall in love" with him while carrying him in my womb, nor did I "fall in love" with him after he was born. It took about 3 months before I started to feel bonded to him in any way. And there wasn't those issues then!

And I'll admit it freely, I don't love this child I'm carrying now. Not that overwhelming feeling that everyone seems to be going on about. I care about him/her, as I care about any child. Will I bond as soon as we hold each other? Who knows.

Look, please don't get me wrong - it is fabulous for those that love their child at the first sign, but there are those of us who don't. There are those of us who struggle with it.

How do I know this? After I posted my response, the first one to say "I didn't", I have received messages from others, thanking me for sharing my story.... which happens to be theirs as well! Some are still struggling with the guilt, others accepting it, but all thanking me for being the first one to say "I didn't".

And you know something? It made me so so sad. So sad that in our modern society, we still have mothers doubting their ability, guilt ridden over something they couldn't help and not feeling like that they are able to share. For fear of being judged, of being thought less of, of being shamed.  I even had one (because there is always one, isn't there! lol) who told me that I should be ashamed to admit my failings, that I should have been happy that I was blessed with a child when so many can't. BLOCK! lol

So I guess my final comment would be this - share your love and joyfulness of your children, for that is why God blessed us with them - for in His eyes, all children are a blessing and a joy. Also remember to hold those others like me in your hearts and minds, those of us who have traveled a different path, but are no less blessed than you. It just took us a little longer to get there :)

Friday, August 3, 2012

NEW SECTION!!! WOOT!!

I know, I know, I'm a Section Slut - LMAO!!

I love organising posts into sections - it's part of my OCD that doesn't get satisfied in my RL.

Well, this one will be about Survivalism/Prepping - or as the many blogs seem to call it - TSHTF -
The Shit Hits The Fan or TEOFWAWKI - The End Of The World As We Know It.

Now, by all accounts - those being my own google-fu powers - most of the Survivalist blogs/facebook pages are American, although there are a number of Aussie ones springing up. They range from sensible types that are aimed at those who want to be able to last through a short period of time to blogs that are seriously W T F DUDE??? lol

But all have the same thoughts - how to survive when disaster strikes.

What sorts of disasters are we talking about here?

Anything from a few days without power or with blocked off roads to major disasters like hurricanes, cyclones, earthquakes to infrastructure collapse like power grid failures, government collapses, End Of World disasters and my personal Favorite/Terror - Zombie Apocalypse!!!!

I have spoken before on my blog about changing our lifestyles to a slower pace and becoming more sufficient. Due to my health issues, I have to be careful what I do and this limits us quite a bit in this aspect - no heavy gardening or prep work here. So that kinda means that we will never be truly SELF sufficient. But I hope that me are able to set ourselves up to a degree where if TSHTF, we are able to care for ourselves and family and friends until everything levels out.

So that means Ideas and these blogs are a fascinating source for that.

This sort of life has always attracted me - anyone who was younger/old enough to remember all the After The World Ends movies - Logan's Run, Day Of The Triffids, Mad Max, Planet of the Apes and My favorites were the B grade movies - SolarBabies, New Eden, Soldier - that sort of thing LOL!

Anyway, tons of great ideas on how and what is needed to survive a disaster, whether it be short term or long term.

So, I will be using a new label/subsection to link these together - hopefully it goes more successfully than my camping one LMAO!

Moderated Blog

Just real quick here, as I'm still not 100% and still trying to get this house under control again.

In response to a number of comments I have had recently...
This IS a moderated blog.

That means that I control what gets published and what doesn't.

Now, I get that this is gonna piss some people off, but really - I could not care less - literally - could NOT care any less.
Normally, every now and then, I will get spam or a comment sent through that I will not publish. It actually says that in the part where you comment - so I'm not really sure why some people are surprised.

Let me explain it in very simple terms - this is MY blog. I read this blog as well as others. I use this as a reminder for things, for a smile, for links whatever. This is MY little section of Internet Space.

I read all the comments, post nearly all of them, but I will NOT approve anything to do with certain peoples, who to me personally, appear completely insane and rabid - I will not. I do not want that sort of infection of hatred on this blog. If you have a different point of view and can voice it calmly and rationally, maybe - but insults will get your comment deleted immediately. I also do not post things that attempt to 'prove me wrong' lol. But good try there :)

Oh and no, I don't block people either - feel free to continue posting comments by all means - I have shared them all with friends and shared a good laugh with a handful of them!

So, feel free to wander through, leave a comment if you like, but understand that it is a moderated blog and that I don't automatically post everything just because someone can use a computer and leave a comment.

Excellent! Now that we are all on the same page - let's go and enjoy life!!