Saturday, June 16, 2012

Generosity and Giving.... to me that is.

I wanted to come on tonight and do a post on some favorite bloggers of mine - old and new.

You can see from the list << there on the side, I love reading other peoples blogs. I really do! Although Pinterest has taken over from that somewhat (the Perfect Mommie bloggers DO get a little depressing sometimes and Pinterest means I can steal ideas without getting the guilt trips, lol).

One of my favorites was shown to me by friends - Abby chronicles her farm in America and her day to day life - like all those 'home style' blogs, I find it fascinating to read. It would be something I would LOVE to do, and will do someday when I'm not so sick and lazy ;P.

But, she re-introduced me to a blog. I won't link it, I have spoken about it before, so those who 'know' will know whom I am talking about. But I recently was lead back by Abby's blog and all I can say is DAMN!! There's some GOOD money to be made by grifting  begging  being a spiritual leader  being a lazy assed MoFo  being ill and persecuted

:(

Those poor things.

Life really does seem to kick them around a lot!

When you start to read it, you sway between feeling sorry for them and headdesking a lot.

I have come to the conclusion though, that ** I ** should start asking for donations too!! After all, they 'seem' to have many of the same things ** I ** have!!!
Other than the IBS ( **coughbullshitcough** ) that is. I have a feeling that if you eat too much shit, shit is what's gonna happen..... (see what I did there? heehee)

Anyhoo, as someone with Spondylolisthesis (bad back), prosopagnosia (face blindness), social anxieties, panic attacks, recovering PTSD, depression, dermatitis, suspected fatigue-y stuff, sensory issues, some OCD-y stuffs, migraines, two kids, one husband, two rabbits, four lizards, one (sick :( ) snake, two cats and now pregnancy - I match her AND pass her, leaving her in my dust, baby!!
Oooh, editing to add that I ALSO have a heart murmur-y thingy AND suspected childhood dyslexia TOO!!!

I don't have the extra spouses that she has, thank God - I'm happy with my one and only deity!

So, as we are not rolling about in piles of filthy lucre (how DARE we not be??? It's an OUTRAGE, AN OUTRAGE I SAY!!) I decided that she is not the only one that can grift  beg  scam  ask for money.

Now, as I understand these things from reading that blog, I *can* offer to do several things

1) Make jewellery and sell it to you
2) Make said jewellery, bless it - or in my case, pray over it - and sell it to you for a little more
3) Say thanks
4) Do a Blessing - or in my case, pray for you
5) Send you some religious-y things that I have blessed/prayed on or over to you

Now, as people have informed me, if I follow the gist of this other blog, I don't ACTUALLY have to send anything out. I can simply claim that I'm too sick/in pain/that things occurred that prevented me from getting to the post office. I also don't have to thank anyone, but simply yell at them for not giving more - after all, I am entitled to this. Apparently.

So, as we need SO many things, I decided to set up my own donation request -

THINGS WE NEED

A Heavy Duty chainsaw - $400
A caravan - $25000
New Rabbit Hutch - $400
New reptile enclosures - $1500
The Entire Hellephant Collection - $600
My Hairy Frog Fish illustration - $80
New Car Seat for Hatchling - $700
New Mattress for Hatchling - $150
Spending Money to spend on Regretsy Artists - $1000+
New Hair Do - $300
New Fridge and Freezer - $1500
New Dryer - $600
The Assassins Creed Xbox 360 game - (I know, how could I not have this yet?) - $60
My long desired Preserving Kit - $400 (I need more bottles of course)
Bunnings Vouchers to do up garden - $200
Car repairs - $3000
Real Ugg Boots - $100
My Victorian Wardrobe - $15000
Sewing Fabrics - $500
A New Sewing Light - $55
Outside Climbing Frame and Cubby House for the Kids - $2500
Someone to put up Outside Climbing Frame and Cubby House - $500
Walkie Talkies for kids to go exploring on property - $200
Camping Gas Light - $30
Camping Gas Stove - $50
Camping torches - $50
Camping Mats for everyone - $500
A Rubbish Skip - $350
A Complete Pantry and Fridge Make Over - $2000
(I'm sure that there will be more, stay tuned for any more giving you might be able to do)

If you are feeling particularly generous, we could always do with the following - and if anyone does donate the following, I will send them thirty three necklaces and two bracelets - all jewellery will have been prayed over by me personally. I will also pray for you daily for two years (or until such time as I get bored) We will also send you photos of us enjoying your generosity..

A House deposit = $25,000
A House for keeps (in our name) = Eternal gratitude
A Million Dollars = Priceless and tears of joy will be captured and sent to you in a stunning little jar, suspended on a gold or silver (your choice) chain.

So, go forth and open your paypal accounts, your credit cards, your bank accounts. And know, that by giving us your hard earned, sweat of your brow money, you have given someone something really cool. And maybe a house. Or at least a caravan. Maybe a drawing or a handmade skirt...

:)

God Bless You

7 comments:

  1. *snicker*

    I really should do something like that on my site. >:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. RootedPhoenix - you should TOTALLY do it!! DDDDOOOOOOO EEEEEEEETTTTTT!!

      There's money in them thar hills!!! lol

      Delete
  2. >:D! I will. Just give me a bit of time to put it together.

    ReplyDelete
  3. >:) I did it. And I was really bitey, and hopefully funny.

    http://rootedphoenix.com/2012/06/17/why-yes-i-am-a-jerk-thanks-for-asking/

    ReplyDelete
  4. You know, I was really thinking about sending you the 15000 for the Victorian Wardrobe, but then I saw you were only going to send me 33 necklaces that you have prayed over. If only it had been 34.... :D

    Thanks for the huge laugh!
    Ant

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well Ant, thats just because you don't "appreicate" the fact that I am SO speshial and Holey and shit! 'Cause, like, I tots deserve that Victorian Wardrobe (the Time period, NOT the Australian State!) because I am totally speshial... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA - you are more than welcome gorgeous!!

      Delete
    2. :D lolololol lawl

      This is so wonderful. <3 Both of you.

      Delete

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