Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Compliments

Recently, I was given a compliment by a friend. Why is a compliment worthy of a blog post?

It got me thinking about lots of things.

Firstly, it made me realise that I literally couldn't remember the last time I received a genuine compliment. Aside from Hubby ( <3 ) I cannot remember the last time someone gave me a compliment that wasn't prefaced, followed or implied with a "but..."

Does that mean that I am not worthy of compliments? Does that mean that nothing I do or am is worthy of notice?

What exactly IS a compliment?

Where do compliments fall on the Praise spectrum?
 
lol, can you see where my mind wanders all the time? I have a hard time keeping thoughts straight sometimes :)
 
Okay, the knowledgy bit is that Compliments and Praise are synonyms - which means that they have the same, or close meanings. 
 
One theory that I have been told about (notice I have said 'told' - I have done only very little research into this, feel free to correct me if I get this wrong) is that by praising children, we are growing a culture of people dependant on other peoples approval. I actually agree with this. I have never understood people exclaiming over artwork or projects that children have produced that really are not that great.
Do I think we should be Critics and be bluntly honest? Hell no. But I do feel that we need to encourage kids to be confident of their skills and be brave enough to do what they want, regardless of what others think.
 
Do Compliments fall under this category of 'praise', do you think?
 
By my friend giving me a very touching compliment, would that be 'praise'?
 
Personally, I think that compliments let others know how we feel about them. While over-complimenting someone is just as bad as over-praising, I firmly believe that the social creatures that humans are, we need that connection, that sense of "I'm not alone" that a genuine compliment or praise can bestow.  It allows others to verbally hug someone. Give them a "You are doing okay".
 
A genuine, freely given compliment is a true esteem booster. I know this firsthand now :)
 

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